Spandex Ballet for Xmas No.1 – Simon Cowell: Shit For Ears

X-FACTOR. LOVE IT or hate it, you’ve really gotta hate it. 

While Simon Cowell’s overblown karaoke contest continues to be mistaken for “music today” by people who otherwise take absolutely fuck-all notice of music today outside of what they see on ITV while scarfing down gobfuls of Doritos on a Saturday night, there are those who also believe that the Christmas Number 1 spot is something sacrosanct that ought to be filled by something more festive, more tasteful, less obviously in-your-face – Rage Against The Machine’s ‘Killing In The Name’ for example.

Messrs Chris Hollis and Leon Camfield aka Spandex Ballet are among the latter group, and this year they’ve gone one better and written their very own song for the winter season, festively titled ‘Simon Cowell: Shit For Ears’.

This could, of course, be a Machiavellian ploy to subvert us from voting for whoever the hell is involved with Cowell’s auto-tuned puppet show and to make Spandex Ballet very rich instead, but in this case we at Rogue are way behind it.

So do the world a favour – go out in your droves and buy this record and soon, SOON, we will see the waxy-faced nipple headed freak’s ego reduced to the size of a shrew:

Addendundumdum: Profits made from this single are actually going to Cancer Research – just one more reason to buy it. 


1 Comment

  1. You have heard the whispered drums of revolution, seen the signs that change is at hand. You have seen first hand the frothing rage of academics; it begins with their silently sent emails, plotting a new production of Waiting For Godot and soon they shall take from their offices, entering sunlight for the first time in the name of the cause. They will be joined by comrades from opera and ballet, and shall lay siege to the Glee Club until this foul Comedy Machine falls and a glorious Cultural Republic is ushered in. We will tear down the billboards of Skinner and Boyle and share the theatres among the rightful cultural proletariat.

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